I Guess We’re a FAFO Family (and I Didn’t Even Know It)
The other day, I stumbled across a parenting trend called “FAFO parenting.” I laughed out loud—because apparently, we’ve been doing it this whole time without realizing it had a name.
FAFO stands for “Fool Around and Find Out” (though let’s just call it Figure It Out for the sake of toddler ears 😉). It’s all about letting kids learn through natural consequences instead of constant interference. And let me tell you—it’s been a game-changer in our home.
Letting Her Choose (Even When I Know How It’ll Go)
With our 3-year-old, we’ve always believed that experience is the best teacher. Sure, we talk things through with her. We explain, “If you do this, this might happen. That’s why we’re suggesting this instead.” But the decision? It’s hers to make—as long as she’s safe.
And here’s the thing: in our home, we welcome mistakes. We see them as something good. Mistakes are the beginning of learning—not the end of it. We want her to grow up knowing that messing up isn’t something to fear. It’s how we all grow, improve, and become more thoughtful.
That’s why giving her the space to make mistakes—without shame, without punishment—feels so important. It’s not just about that one decision. It’s about reinforcing the belief that she is capable, she is safe to try, and she is allowed to learn at her own pace.
A Few Real-Life Examples (That You Might Recognize Too)
- Wearing boots in the heat: She needed to wear her rain boots on a sunny, 30°C day. I warned her once. She wore them to the park. Halfway through? “I’m hot.” And guess what? She chose sneakers the next day.
- Not finishing her snack: I remind her, “You might be hungry later.” She shrugs and skips it. Two hours in: “I’m hungry.” We talk about how our choices affect our body. She connects the dots, and snack time becomes a bit more intentional next time.
- Trying to balance too many toys: I say, “You might drop them.” She wants to try anyway. She drops them, laughs, and says, “Next time I’ll take less.” That’s a win in my book.
When Consequences Aren’t Enough (Yet)
Of course, not everything clicks right away.
There are still things—like eating chocolate—where natural consequences haven’t fully sunk in yet. My little one loves it so much that she doesn’t know when to stop, no matter how many tummy aches follow. So in those moments, we step in and set firmer boundaries.
Because as much as we love the “figure it out” approach, our job is also to protect and guide. Some lessons just need more time, and that’s okay.
Why It Works (At Least for Us)
We’ve found that giving her space to feel the outcome makes our guidance mean more. She doesn’t tune us out or dig in her heels because she knows we’re not forcing her—we’re just helping her explore and reflect.
And when she realizes something on her own? That’s when the real growth happens.
It’s Not About Being Hands-Off
Let’s be clear—this isn’t about letting our toddler run wild. We’re there, close by, watching and guiding. But instead of rushing to fix or prevent every misstep, we give her the chance to find her own balance (literally and figuratively).
And when things don’t go perfectly? We’re there to help her process—not punish.
Honestly, It Feels Good
I didn’t know we were “FAFO parents.” I just knew I wanted to raise a little girl who’s curious, confident, and capable. And every time she figures something out on her own—even when it takes a detour—I see her becoming exactly that.
Mistakes, experiments, wild ideas—they’re not setbacks in our house. They’re opportunities. They’re where the magic happens.
Have you tried this approach without realizing it? Tell me I’m not alone! Parenting is wild, messy, and kind of magical when we let our kids lead sometimes—chocolate chaos and all.
